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Bible Studies for Life

Sunday, May 11

Unlocking Your Best Relationship: Improving Our Communication Skills”

Deuteronomy 6:4-9; 2 Samuel 14:23-24, 28-33; Proverbs 4:3-6

By Rick Henson

Have you ever heard a sermon, but only listened to part of it? You initially paid attention to the preacher, but somewhere during the sermon introduction you began to think about something else. Your thoughts initiated a chain of ideas that led away from the sermon, and, before you knew it, the sermon ended. You looked around and wondered what the preacher said.

You heard the sermon in that the sound waves struck your eardrums, yet you did not listen. Your eyes were on the speaker, and maybe your head was tilted to one side as if you were focused. Yet you received less of the sermon than a three year old crawling under the pews.

Listening and hearing are not always the same. In Deuteronomy 6:4 God said, “Listen, Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is One.” The Hebrew word translated “listen” in the Christian Holman Standard version is translated “hear” in the King James and New American Standard versions. The original Hebrew word, shema, means to hear a voice, and the implication is to listen and obey.

Since Deuteronomy 6:4-9 begins with this word, it is known to this day as the Shema. Jesus quoted from it in Matthew 22:37, Mark 12:29, and Luke 10:27. Paul wrote in Romans 10:18 “But I ask, ‘Did they not hear?’ Yes, they did: Their voice has gone out to all the earth, and their words to the ends of the inhabited world.” Like the Jews in the time of Christ and most people today, many heard, but they chose not to listen.

God told Israel in the Shema, “And these words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart; and you shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.” In other words, listen and obey these words, and intentionally teach them to your children.

Communication is essential to our relationship with God and in our obedience to God. We hear the word and are saved, and we speak the word and others are saved. Romans 10:17 teaches, “So faith comes from what is heard, and what is heard comes through the message about Christ.” As we must listen to God’s word and respond in order to be saved, we should also pass that privilege on to others.

Several decades ago I served as pastor of a church in another state. Within a few weeks of my moving to the church, a member’s husband died and I went to her home to comfort her. She and her husband had been married for over sixty years, yet when I asked her about his relationship with the Lord, she told me that they never talked about it. I asked her, “How could you live with him for sixty years and never talk about it?” She shook her head sadly and said, “We just never got around to discussing it.” I did not know what to say to her.

Just as the wise father taught his son in the book of Proverbs, we have an obligation to teach our family members the truths of the Lord Jesus Christ. Proverbs 4:20-21 teaches, “My son, pay attention to my words; listen closely to my sayings. Don’t lose sight of them; keep them within your heart.” Most of the book of Proverbs is the instruction of a father to his son.

Ephesians 6:4 reads, “And fathers, don’t stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” If we do not teach our children how to live, the world will teach them, and they will be worldly. If we instruct them about Jesus, most will receive Christ into their hearts. When we are silent about the Lord Jesus, we teach our children that He is not worth mentioning. We teach by what we say and by what we chose not to say.

James 1 instructs us to be a doer of the word, not only a hearer. That is the difference between hearing and listening. Hearers only hear, but listeners obey. Are you listening?


Henson is pastor of Oakdale Church, Brandon.